shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
