you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
