If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
