i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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