Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
