is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
