32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
