i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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