He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
