at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
