remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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