Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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