You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
