TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
