We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
