Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
