we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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