I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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