they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
