There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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