I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
