I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
