I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
