you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
