In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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