Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
