I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
