Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Farmville is her only friend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
