I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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