Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
