HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
