Michael Bay diarrhea
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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