There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you never un-have a 4some
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
