Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
