If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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