Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
