this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
These tits shall not be calmed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
