Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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