Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
being pregnant is like rehab
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
