why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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