I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
