Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
