I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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