Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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