life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have feelings that need drinking.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
