Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
only if we run a train.
done.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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