Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
