Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize