I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
