That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
