I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
