hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
