sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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