One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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