Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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